There is a rather annoying TV Commercial by TD Ameritrade that starts out with a young man and a young woman standing next to each other.
The narrator begins blathering that they don’t know it yet but they will fall in love, get married, invest with TD Ameritrade, have kids, never fight about money and have time to focus on each other.
It is delusional on many levels (with perhaps investing with TD Ameritrade being the most delusional…anyone remember EF Hutton?), but the one that stands out is “they will fall in love and get married.”
That statement right there is one of the great drivers of couples into divorce court because what it implies is you should make legal decisions based on a feeling that clouds your mind, not on anything clear minded.
The words “fall in love” are repeated over and over again, in every venue possible, that people start to look for signs of it. No one ever defines what “fall in love” means, people think that 1) it is a powerful, pleasurable feeling for another and 2) when you feel it, it means you form a legal arrangement.
And so people meet each other, the chemical dump of attraction occurs, the “zeal for reproduction” takes over (to quote Joseph Campbell) and the couple says, “wow, this feels so real, clearly we have fallen into love, therefore we must do the next logical thing.”
What they do not do is take a hard look at what a legal arrangement really entails, nor do they take a look at how long the chemical dump lasts (3 years, usually). The reproductive zeal overrides such rational and logical things, clouding their minds and most importantly making them think, “oh, this is so powerful and feels so good, it must be real. No one else has ever experienced this, that’s why they failed and we’ll succeed.”
And so they make legal decisions under minds clouded by chemical highs, legal decisions that still affect them when that high wears off, or worse, when it’s worn off and they meet someone else who makes them feel it.
I’ve said it over and over again, and the New Year is a good time to reiterate it: decisions made under the spell of attraction have consequences in reality, and when that spell wears off, those consequences start.
So, if you meet a woman and it feels really good, really fast, just enjoy it for as long as it lasts. Make no life altering decisions while your head is cloudy. When it clears, and if you still actually LIKE her when the initial high is gone, sure, look at forming a legal relationship and commingling assets…at least you have an idea of what you’re getting into then.
By Your Host: John Alanis
John Alanis has been teaching men how to attract the women they really want since 2004, even getting them to approach you first, no matter your looks, age or income. John not only teaches the skill of initial attraction, he also teaches the skill of sustaining attraction so men can continue the relationships they form with women. After all, it is no good to meet lots of women if they won’t stick around.
John is most certainly not a part of the “pick up artist crowd,” instead teaching men how to make themselves “naturally attractive” by suppressing unattractive behaviors and amplifying attractive ones, making yourself attractive without changing “who you are.” John served in the US Navy’s submarine force in the early 90’s, worked in the oilfields of Alaska and has been running his own business since 1995. The theme of “mental toughness” and “how to be a real man in an age of girlie men” runs through is writings and teachings. While not for the faint of heart or weak of mind, John’s teachings do get results, and he has many happy subscribers and customers.