I hear the simple question, “why?” from guys all the time.
WHY did she flake on me?
WHY did she leave me?
WHY does she call me all the time?
WHY doesn’t she call me any more?
Why, why, why. And while there can be value in asking yourself why, if you persist in it too much, you will drive yourself crazy, wasting time you could spend on attracting another, possibly better woman.
When you ask “why” when it comes to attraction you’re putting a logical spin on something that is completely illogical, something that really is a chaotic system.
Sometimes there is no explainable why. Sometimes it happens for no reason, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
I always laugh inwardly when I hear someone justify something bad happening by saying, “well, things happen for a reason.” No they don’t, sometimes they just happen. Sometimes there’s a reason, sometimes there’s not.
The important thing is to not get caught up in asking why. Yes, initially you should ask yourself “why” as an analytical way to determine if you made a mistake, or if there’s something you could have done to prevent the thing that is causing you to ask why.
Many times you WILL, in retrospect, identify something that lead to the “why” event, something you can be aware of in the future and use to your benefit. But many times you will also discover you did everything right, and it still didn’t work out.
This can cause a lot of guys to get bummed out, down on themselves, and take them out of the game. This is the wrong way to look at it. Instead, you should look at it from a more statistical point of view.
The more actions you take with women, the more “why” events you’re going to get, bad AND good. You see, no guy ever asks “why” when a hot woman comes over for a night of passion, or shows up on time for a date, or wants to be his girlfriend. Yet these events are simply the flip side of the events that cause you to ask why.
Looking at it from a realistic point of view, the more you act, the more “why” events you will create. A certain percentage of them will be unexplainable because that’s how the world works. A certain percentage of them will be, a certain percentage will be good, and a certain percentage will be bad.
Don’t get too up about the good ones, or down about the bad ones. Get down about none of them because if you don’t act, that’s what you’ll get. Acting brings lots of why events, but in the end, the more you act, the more good ones you will get, and these make up for all the unexplainable whys.
By Your Host: John Alanis
John Alanis has been teaching men how to attract the women they really want since 2004, even getting them to approach you first, no matter your looks, age or income. John not only teaches the skill of initial attraction, he also teaches the skill of sustaining attraction so men can continue the relationships they form with women. After all, it is no good to meet lots of women if they won’t stick around.
John is most certainly not a part of the “pick up artist crowd,” instead teaching men how to make themselves “naturally attractive” by suppressing unattractive behaviors and amplifying attractive ones, making yourself attractive without changing “who you are.” John served in the US Navy’s submarine force in the early 90’s, worked in the oilfields of Alaska and has been running his own business since 1995. The theme of “mental toughness” and “how to be a real man in an age of girlie men” runs through is writings and teachings. While not for the faint of heart or weak of mind, John’s teachings do get results, and he has many happy subscribers and customers.