As adults we sometimes display playful and child like behaviors.
Which is great for maintaining that youthful exuberance. But there are occasions when our inner child can sabotage our happiness. For example; when a child has a toy sitting in the toy box or bin, they are not interested in it until someone else wants to play with it. They have a fit and cry for it and if you opt to play with the other thing they were iplaying with, then they want it too.
This resembles how we behave when we have neglected our intimate partners – our spouses, lovers, partners, mates. We are not concerned about how things are going until we get the idea or feeling that maybe someone else is moving in on our territory. Playing with our toy that we left in the toybox.
The question then is posed, why don’t we pay or give attention and make them feel loved and wanted on a regular basis? Why do we let them sit idly by until someone else shows interest? Why should it get to that?
Not to say that our career, home, social etc., responsibilities are not important or that we don’t love our families, but there is balance in all things. However, what are the persons, places or things that are robbing you of intimate play time in your relationship?
Let’s look at areas of our lives individually and see where we can make changes to dedicate intimate play time to our relationships:
Work / Career – where can you carve out a dedicated time for romance? A set date night that will allow you to rekindle, refocus and reconnect?
Personal / Social – We tend to be more dedicated to outside influences which interfere with our relationships. Ladies; we spend valuable time in the salon on our appearance, which pleases both us and our lovers. Men; golf, video games, and work etcetera can rob you of precious time you should invest in your relationship. Not saying you have to give up any of the abovementioned luxuries, simply consider what is more important.
Kids /Family – Involve the family in understanding that you deserve time to yourselves. If you are caring for parents, or kids have moved back in, let them know that your lives are devoted to each other and they will have to respect your down time. Plan time away from the home to nurture and be PRESENT with each other and avoid disruptions.
Cooking/Cleaning – Share the chores and the DIY projects when you can. Weight the cost versus the time investment and use professionals when necessary. Make cooking together fun by preparing your favorite meals or experimenting with new recipes and maybe even a aphrodisiac.
Friends – Value your friendships, but prioritize them. Like your family, your friends should respect your relationship and yor time. Learn to say no when you need to and weigh the importance of the favor asked and the time with your significant other.
We rationalize the time we give to others and things and fail to understand that the time investment in our relationship will yield a higher return emotionally, physically and mentally.
Technology – It can wait! Disconnect from Email, games, Social Media, Internet, etc. Bring a different kind of technology into the bedroom with toys. lubes and play gear. Bring the excitement back into your romance with games and get-aways or more. Get creative and slay the boredom.
The biggest complaint by most couples is that they are bored. Well what are you ding to break the cycle and bring the interest and excitement back into your lives? Don’t wait until someone else is having play time with your lover. Learn to have fun by dedicating intimate play time now and on a regular basis.
By John’s Special Guest: Dr. Katherine “Kat” Smith
Dr. Kat Smith, Dhs, America’s Intimacy Expert, holds a Doctorate In Human Sexuality. She is the author of several books, romance products and programs and is available for speaking engagements. For more information about Dr. Kat’s work, visit www.drkatsmith.com or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org