If you’re a long time subscriber to my list, you know one of the things I talk about is qualification.

But even more important than that is quick qualification…after all, if you can DIS-qualify a woman in a few hours instead of a few days, you have that much more time to spend with one more suited to you.

How to Understand the Thoughts of a WomanOne of the best ways to qualify is using innocuous probing statements that uncover a woman’s internal patterns of behavior, to see if she matches up to what you want.

For example, I like women who like to wear heels, dress sexy, and who pay attention to all the small details that make a woman “intelligently sexy.” I do NOT like women who have the “natural look,” i.e. no make-up, and Birkenstocks. That is my preference, of course, and you may feel the opposite, which is perfectly fine. What’s important is, you know your preference.

Now, I like fit women, and whenever I meet one, I make a small comment about her looking good in “very high heels.” The responses are interesting. My favorite one is, of course, “Oh yes, I DO look good in heels.” That is a confident woman, the kind I like.

But on occasion, I have gotten the response, “Don’t tell me what to wear, you either like me as I am or you don’t like me.” Whoa—a response like that to an innocuous, flirty question shows you she has some issues. More than likely she dealt with a controlling man previously, and has an automatic backlash against anything that appears to be controlling.

That is just one example of probing for patterns. You also have to listen to a woman’s language, to see how she views the world. I have met some women who used language that showed they did not accept responsibility for their actions, language such as, “it didn’t work for me” as opposed to “I didn’t do it right.” That is a powerful view into her world.

I also met a woman once who, when she started telling stories about guys she used to date, ended every single one of them with, “and then I caught him cheating on me.” Whoa. What was even worse was her description of how she “caught” them…confronting them at work, driving by their houses late at night looking for strange vehicles, etc. As they say in the old Monty Python skits, “run away, run away!”

Certainly you want to be on the lookout for negative disqualifiers because those let you quickly end it with a woman. Once you notice the absence of those, you can move on to looking for qualifiers, and see how things play out.

Probing for patterns and listening to a woman’s language is a powerful tool when it comes to attraction. To use a Poker analogy, it quickly allows you to fold a bad hand, and play when you have a much better chance of winning—and with women, that’s the only time you want to play.


john alanisBy Your Host: John Alanis
John Alanis has been teaching men how to attract the women they really want since 2004, even getting them to approach you first, no matter your looks, age or income. John not only teaches the skill of initial attraction, he also teaches the skill of sustaining attraction so men can continue the relationships they form with women. After all, it is no good to meet lots of women if they won’t stick around.

John is most certainly not a part of the “pick up artist crowd,” instead teaching men how to make themselves “naturally attractive” by suppressing unattractive behaviors and amplifying attractive ones, making yourself attractive without changing “who you are.” John served in the US Navy’s submarine force in the early 90’s, worked in the oilfields of Alaska and has been running his own business since 1995. The theme of “mental toughness” and “how to be a real man in an age of girlie men” runs through is writings and teachings. While not for the faint of heart or weak of mind, John’s teachings do get results, and he has many happy subscribers and customers.