Just about every man who ever lived has some regret with women, more of opportunity lost than anything else, even if it was fleeting opportunity.
There is an old saying that goes, “you will never regret the men you didn’t kill, but you will always regret the women you never slept with.” There is much truth in that.
However, it is one thing to repeat it and say to yourself, “yep, that’s true,” and quite another to dig a little deeper and analyze WHY you didn’t sleep with/ask out/date/commit to the women you missed out on.
One of the biggest (but not the only) reasons has to do with the narrow window of opportunity. For whatever reason, we as men, tend to wait, while women prefer not to wait. If a man doesn’t act, they don’t wait around, they look for one who will (often to their detriment, but that’s for another day).
A friend once said to me, “when in doubt, go for it,” which is another variation of “fortune favors the bold.” He had (and still has, I believe) a very hot wife who other people thought was too hot for him, and were confused as to why she was with him. His answer was simple—“I didn’t think about how hot or smart she was when I saw, her, I just went for it, and it worked out.”
His opening line to her? “Want to go to a football game?” Not brilliant, not sophisticated, but it was the most important thing, seizing the narrow window of opportunity. While other guys sat around looking for the perfect thing to say to her, he acted and got a result. Her reply by the way was, “sure, why not, I like football.” A hundred guys could have asked her the same thing, but he was the only one who did.
It is instructive to go back through your past, and look for narrow windows of opportunity you missed out on. Many times you miss them because you didn’t see them when they were there, and if you can’t see them, you can’t exploit them. Revisiting the past can, in this case, identify what those narrow windows look and feel like.
Once you’ve identified them, it is instructive to “back test” them, replaying in your mind what you should have said or done when the opportunity presented itself. It is also very, very instructive to identify when it closed, so you can see how short these windows last.
The very good news about all that painful reliving of the past is it will pay off big time in the future, as you begin to see opportunity, then act on it, knowing it will close quickly. Then your regrets will be much fewer, and your memories (and memories to come) much more pleasant.
By Your Host: John Alanis
John Alanis has been teaching men how to attract the women they really want since 2004, even getting them to approach you first, no matter your looks, age or income. John not only teaches the skill of initial attraction, he also teaches the skill of sustaining attraction so men can continue the relationships they form with women. After all, it is no good to meet lots of women if they won’t stick around.
John is most certainly not a part of the “pick up artist crowd,” instead teaching men how to make themselves “naturally attractive” by suppressing unattractive behaviors and amplifying attractive ones, making yourself attractive without changing “who you are.” John served in the US Navy’s submarine force in the early 90’s, worked in the oilfields of Alaska and has been running his own business since 1995. The theme of “mental toughness” and “how to be a real man in an age of girlie men” runs through is writings and teachings. While not for the faint of heart or weak of mind, John’s teachings do get results, and he has many happy subscribers and customers.