During my career in this business, I have had several naïve young men come to me with similar stories.
They met a girl they describe as “angelic,” a “nice girl,” “the girl next door,” and so on.
They go out on a few dates with her, and as they get to know her better, they start to become concerned. Apparently she doesn’t spend her whole day at church thinking about them, or rescuing long lost puppies and kittens or writing poetry. Apparently she has…a bad girl side.
Being naïve, these young men are distraught because this does not fit into their idea of a “nice girl” (an older, wiser man gets a gleam in his eye when he hears about women like this).
They are, in fact, horrified, and somehow think they have been duped, that these are NOT the kind of women you take home to meet your mother (not making the connection that this kind of behavior from their mother has contributed to the reason they’re breathing).
Worse yet, they don’t know what to make of it when the “nice girl” dumps them for a man they know is not nice at all. It’s very confusing because they thought nice girls wanted to meet nice guys.
It is a complete misunderstanding of attraction, brought about by BS social narrative. The truth is, all women have a good girl side and a bad girl side, and the attractive man appeals to the bad girl side while upholding the illusion of the good girl side.
The woman you date, the woman you take home to mother, and the woman you marry all have both sides. They are both innocent and dirty, all at the same time, and if you want to have a successful relationship, you’d best understand that.
Women do not want to be treated or looked at like an asexual, flighty object. Women desire the desire of men, and “desire” has a “dirty” component to it. Nice guys who don’t understand that don’t get women.
This duality is not something you should shy away from or denigrate. It is simply the reality we live in, and most certainly something to be embraced. The reason there are 7 billion people in the world is because of the “dirty side,” and it’s the reason you’re here.
Some nice guys never get this, and are constantly chasing the myth of the pure, nice girl. But some young men grow up into wiser old bulls and understand that pure, nice girl is right in front of them…right alongside the dirty, naughty bad girl…and that combination is much, much better than the boredom of nicety.
By Your Host: John Alanis
John Alanis has been teaching men how to attract the women they really want since 2004, even getting them to approach you first, no matter your looks, age or income. John not only teaches the skill of initial attraction, he also teaches the skill of sustaining attraction so men can continue the relationships they form with women. After all, it is no good to meet lots of women if they won’t stick around.
John is most certainly not a part of the “pick up artist crowd,” instead teaching men how to make themselves “naturally attractive” by suppressing unattractive behaviors and amplifying attractive ones, making yourself attractive without changing “who you are.” John served in the US Navy’s submarine force in the early 90’s, worked in the oilfields of Alaska and has been running his own business since 1995. The theme of “mental toughness” and “how to be a real man in an age of girlie men” runs through is writings and teachings. While not for the faint of heart or weak of mind, John’s teachings do get results, and he has many happy subscribers and customers.